Favorite Quotes and Exchanges in Television Programs

Films, TV shows, and books of the 'modern' era
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Masha
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Favorite Quotes and Exchanges in Television Programs

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Gansuringa Garu:

Dr. Bianchi: Be clever like a snake but simple like a pigeon. There's nothing wrong with thinking things over delicately. There's no need to feel shame in acting shrewdly.


Phineas and Ferb

Phineas: Nothing's impossible if you believe you can do it.
Buford: Well, I don't believe and therefore it's impossible.


Firefly:

Mal is showing Zoë the ship for the first time:
Mal: She won’t be winning any beauty contests anytime soon, but she is solid. Ship like this, be with you ’til the day you die.
Zoë: ‘Cause it’s a death trap.

Zoë: Captain will come up with a plan.
Kaylee: That's good. Right?
Zoë: Possibly you're not recalling some of his previous plans.

Simon: I'm trying to put this as delicately as I can: how do I know you won't kill me in my sleep?
Mal: Listen, you don't know me, son, so I'm gonna say this once: if I ever kill you, you'll be awake, you'll be facing me, and you'll be armed.
Simon: Are you always this sentimental?
Mal: I had a good day.

Zoë: Preacher, don’t the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killin’?
Shepherd Book: Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps.


May To December:

Hilary: My uncle went out with a girl half his age.
Vera Flood: Oh, did it work out?
Hilary: No. My auntie found him and brought him home.


Sherlock:

Watson: You don't trust your own Secret Service?
Mycroft: Naturally not. They all spy on people for money.
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Lomm
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Re: Favorite Quotes and Exchanges in Television Programs

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Oh, more Firefly quotes. :)

Mal: You wanna tell me how come there’s a statue here, lookin’ at me like I owe him something?
Jayne: Wishin’ I could, cap’n.
Mal: No, seriously, Jayne, you want to tell me–?
Jayne: Look, Mal, I got no ruttin’ idea. I was here a few years back, like I said. Pulled a second-story, stole a lot of scratch from the magistrate up on the hill. But things went way south. I had to hightail it. They don’t… put you on a pedestal in town square for that.
Mal: Yeah, but I’m looking at some fair compelling evidence says they do.
Simon: This must be what going mad feels like.


Jayne: Testing. Testing, Captain, can you hear me?
Mal: I’m standing right here.
Jayne: You’re coming through good and loud.
Mal: ‘Cause I’m standing right here.

Jayne: Six men came to kill me one time and the best of them carried this. It's a Callahan fullbore autolock, customized trigger and double cartridge thorough-gauge. (he holds it out to Mal) It's my very favorite gun.
Mal: She has a name.
Jayne: So does this! I call it Vera.

Mal: Well my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.
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Re: Favorite Quotes and Exchanges in Television Programs

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It overjoys me to find a fellow lover of: Firefly! I feel the program is rare and precious. There are so very few action adventure dramatic comedy space westerns available.

I find it wonderful when I see references to: Firefly when watching: Castle. Some are overt and some are subtle but they are all humourously touching.


Wash: We gotta go to the crappy town where I’m a hero.


Kaylee: Wash, tell me I'm pretty...
Wash: Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion.
Kaylee: 'Cause I'm pretty?
Wash: 'Cause you're pretty.


Zoë: I know something ain’t right.
Wash: Sweetie, we’re crooks. If everything were right, we’d be in jail.


Zoë: Sir, we don’t want to deal with Patience again.
Mal: Why not?
Zoë: She shot you.
Mal: Well, yeah, she did a bit.


Mal: I know you all took up arms in that piece of action back there. How you faring with that, Doctor?
Simon: I don’t know. I never shot anyone before.
Shepherd Book: I was there, son. I’m fair sure you haven’t shot anyone yet.
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Re: Favorite Quotes and Exchanges in Television Programs

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It's just such a perfect show. Great casting, writing, and a very original concept. Fox completely killed any momentum it could have built up by airing it out of order, which didn't allow character development to move forward coherently. Then they didn't even air the last episode (or maybe much later in rerun season). Then just as it was finally developing a following, they cancelled it. :(
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Masha
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Re: Favorite Quotes and Exchanges in Television Programs

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It is my understanding that three episodes were not aired during its initial run. They are included in the DVD set. I am not sure which ones they are.

I have read that it was cancelled because executives at Fox considered it: "too dark." I find that amusing as they were advertising it as comedy series. It is as if none of them truly watched the program.

Firefly:

Shepherd Book: If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theatre.


Saffron: Durran, this isn’t what it looks like.
Mal: Unless it looks like we’re stealing your priceless Lassiter, ’cause that’s what we’re doing. Don’t ask me about the gun though, ’cause that’s new.
Durran: Well I appreciate your honesty. Not, you know, a lot.


Zoë: Is there any way I’m gonna get out of this with honor and dignity?
Wash: You’re pretty much down to ritual suicide, Lamby Toes.


Wash: Little River just gets more colorful by the moment. What’ll she do next.
Zoë: Either blow us all up or rub soup in our hair. It’s a toss up.
Wash: I hope she does the soup thing. It’s always a hoot and we don’t all die from it.
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Re: Favorite Quotes and Exchanges in Television Programs

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Wash is so intentionally funny, and Jayne is so obliviously funny. I'm not sure which one I like more.
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Re: Favorite Quotes and Exchanges in Television Programs

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I feel that one important aspect of the program is that each of the crew have their own variety of humour. Inara's is sarcasm. Kaylee's is wide-eyed innocence not understanding dangerous situations. Mal's is irony. Shepherd Book's is self-depreciation.

Inara: So would you like to lecture me on the wickedness of my ways?
Shepherd Book: I brought you some supper. But if you’d prefer a lecture, I have a few very catchy ones prepped. Sin and hellfire. One has lepers.


Kaylee: I like to meet new people. They’ve all got stories…
Jayne: Captain, can you stop her from being cheerful please?
Mal: I don’t believe there’s a power in the ‘Verse can stop Kaylee from being cheerful. Sometimes you just want to duct tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month.
Kaylee: I love my captain.


Zoë: You sanguine about the kind of reception we’re apt to receive on an Alliance ship?
Mal: Absolutely. What’s sanguine mean?
Zoë: Sanguine. Hopeful. Plus—point of interest—it also means bloody.
Mal: Well that pretty much covers all the options, don’t it.


Patron: The girl is a witch.
Mal: Yeah, but she’s our witch.


Mal: You send word to Patience?
Wash: Ain’t heard back yet. Didn’t she shoot you one time?
Mal: Everybody’s making a fuss.
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Masha
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Re: Favorite Quotes and Exchanges in Television Programs

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Sherlock:

Lestrade: This is just friendly advice, but give Sherlock five minutes on your crime scene and listen to everything he has to say. And as far as possible, try not to punch him.

Mycroft: Just once can you two behave like grown-ups?
Watson: We solve crimes, I blog about it and he forgets his pants. I wouldn’t hold out too much hope.

Mycroft: May I just apologize for the state of my little brother.
Harry: Full time occupation I imagine.

Harry: You look taller in your photographs.
Sherlock: Take the precaution of a good coat and a short friend.


Doctor Who:

Rose: If you're an alien, how come you sound like you're from the north?
The Doctor: Lots of planets have a north!

Amy Pond: I thought ... well, I started to think you were just a madman with a box.
The Doctor: Amy Pond, there's something you better understand about me, 'cause it's important, and one day your life may depend on it: I am definitely a madman with a box.

Rory Williams: He'll be fine. He's a Time Lord!
Amy Pond: It's just what they're called. It doesn't mean he actually knows what he's doing.

Melody Malone: I sat with my feet up on my desk and started to make a mental list of the people who'd want me dead. Once I got to fifty, I decided this wasn't helping.

The Doctor: You need to start trusting me. It's never been more important.
Amy Pond: But you don't always tell me the truth.
The Doctor: If I always told you the truth, I wouldn't need you to trust me.
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Masha
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Re: Favorite Quotes and Exchanges in Television Programs

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Doctor Who:

The Doctor: I'm angry, that's new. I'm really not sure what's going to happen now.
Madame Kovarian: The anger of a good man is not a problem. Good men have too many rules.
The Doctor: Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many.

The Doctor and Dr. River Song find Amy Pond tied to a table and surrounded by aliens. Dr. River Song is armed:
The Doctor [to the aliens]: I know you're team players and everything, but she'll definitely kill the first three of you.
Dr. River Song: Oh, the first seven, easily.
The Doctor: Seven. Really?
Dr. River Song: Oh, eight for you, honey.
The Doctor: Stop it.
Dr. River Song: Make me.
The Doctor: Yeah, well, maybe I will.
Amy Pond: Is this really important, flirting? Because I feel like I should be higher on the list right now.


Dorium Maldovar is quite similar in temperament, business, and morals as Sydney Greenstreet's character in: Casablanca (1942).
Dorium Maldovar: I admire your courage. I should like to admire it from afar.

Dorium Maldovar: Word on the belt is you're looking for time travel.
Dr. River Song: Are you selling?
Dorium Maldovar: [He snaps his fingers. A box is brought to him] A vortex manipulator. Fresh off the wrist of a handsome time agent. [He opens the box and looks inside. He is obviously disappointed.] I said off the wrist.

In speaking of The Silence:
The Doctor: And they want me dead?
Dorium Maldovar: No, not really. They just don't want you to remain alive.
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Re: Favorite Quotes and Exchanges in Television Programs

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Another gold mine of quotes is House MD, with the great Hugh Laurie.

Patient: "Are you this rude to all your patients?"
House: "Yes. Don't think you're special."

Cameron: "Brandon's not ready for surgery..."
House: OK, let's leave it a couple of weeks. He should be feeling better by then. Oh wait, which way does time go?"

Dr. Foreman: "You're addicted to conflict."
House: (looks at his Vicodin) "They changed the name?"

Patient's Mother: "Are you high?"
House: "Higher than you." (The patient's mother is a dwarf)
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Re: Favorite Quotes and Exchanges in Television Programs

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Hugh Laurie was: Bertie Wooster in: Jeeves and Wooster. It was BBC series. He was high-class twit whose utter survival rested on: Jeeves' calm and implacable intelligence.

Jeeves and Wooster:

Chuffy: She must have had a wonderful time being engaged to you. What on earth made her except you I wonder?
Bertie: I once consulted a knowledgeable pal. And his theory was that the sight of me hanging around like a loony ship awoke the maternal instinct in woman. There may be something in this.

Lady Glossop: One of my most treasured memories is of Irving playing Hamlet at the Lyceum.
Bertie: Really? Who won?

Lady Glossop: She will mold you.
Bertie: I don't want to be molded. I'm not a jelly.
Lady Glossop: That is a matter of opinion.

Bertie: He wants to marry Myrtle Snap?
Jeeves: Precisely so, Sir, but Mrs. Snap refuses to consider such a venture while Sir Roderick's daughter remains unmarried. In a colourful turn of phrase she stated that specific and scarcely to be anticipated meteorological conditions would have to take place in the infernal region before she would share a home with Miss Honoria.
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Re: Favorite Quotes and Exchanges in Television Programs

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Stargate SG-1:

Samuels: I kind of wish I was going with you.
Kawalsky: I’m kind of glad you’re staying behind.

O’Neill: Permission to barge in, Sir?

O’Neill: Listen, um, I gotta ask you something. It’s not easy for me.
Kawalsky: We’re friends.
O’Neill: If you don’t make it, can I have your stereo?


Torchwood:

Gwen: Excuse me. Have you seen a blowfish driving a sports car? [The woman points the way.] Thank you.
Woman: Bloody Torchwood.

Hart: What about a last-minute rescue? What’s the point of being on a team if you don’t get a last-minute rescue.

Owen: You’ve read Proust?
Jack: Yeah. Well, no. We dated for awhile. He was really immature.
Owen: You know, none of us know whether to take you seriously when you say those things.
Jack: You’ve lived as long as I have, you don’t make it up anymore.
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Re: Favorite Quotes and Exchanges in Television Programs

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I loved "Jeeves and Wooster." Fry's "Jeeves" undying patience with the mostly moronic Wooster was such a quality in the show. Didn't care for the show's New York trip but everything else was wonderful.
Chris

"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana."
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