I Just Watched...

[CinemaInternational]

Most network shows now have about 9 minutes of breaks per half hour - ads, promotions for other shows, PSAs. That's nearly a third of the time slot wiped out. Older shows had about 5 minutes of breaks per half hour - even less in the 1950s.

The FCC doesn't regulate this, except for children's programming. Any restraint imposed on ads by US broadcasters was self-imposed by membership in the NAB. Unfortunately, the Justice Department sued the NAB in 1979, and as a result, in 1982, the NAB dropped ad restrictions. The old rules were:

- one product per 30 second ad
- no more than 5 consecutive ads
- no more than 8.5 minutes of ads per hour (Note that it's typically double this now).

There are now essentially no rules.

It's not much better for commercial TV in the UK these days. The more recent Britcom imports from ITV and Sky shown by my local PBS station run about 22 minutes without ads. Some recent commercial dramas (like Nolly) run about 45 minutes per episode.

I would not in addition that by the mid-80s, most hour-long shows were clocking in at 48 minutes and a few seconds, thus a little less than 12 minutes of commercials, but that changed. By the early 90s, episodes were often down to 46 minutes, and by the early 2000s, they were down to about 43. i think they are about 41 or 42 now, which means that almost a third of an hour on TV is made up of advertisements. One other thing that the shift has caused is the death of the opening credits montages on major network TV (although they still appear on HBO shows, and the one for The Gilded Age is a stunner). Murphy Brown was one of the first shows to not have traditional opening credits, and other sitcoms followed suit, but the dramas largely waited to abandon them until the mid-2000s.

[Lorna]

(IN RE: THE ELAINE GIFS)

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!

I LIVE!!!!!!

PS- IS THERE A SINGLE PERSON WHO POSTS HERE WHO IS FAMILIAR WITH "THE ENGLISH PATIENT EPISODE" OF SEINFELD THAT HASN'T FELT THAT EXACT SAME WAY ABOUT SOME MOVIE EVERYONE WAS LOSING IT OVER COMPLETELY AT SOME TIME IN THE PAST????

(although I thought THE ENGLISH PATIENT was fine, even if JULIET BINOCHE was THE UNQUESTIONABLE LEAD and SCOTT-THOMAS's was clearly the supporting part)

[Hibi]

I loved that episode!!! YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (She had to go to Morocco and live in a cave to get her job back!) I loved that Peterman actor.

[CinemaInternational]

(IN RE: THE ELAINE GIFS)

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!

I LIVE!!!!!!

PS- IS THERE A SINGLE PERSON WHO POSTS HERE WHO IS FAMILIAR WITH "THE ENGLISH PATIENT EPISODE" THAT HASN'T FELT THAT WAY ABOUT SOME MOVIE EVERYONE WAS LOSING IT OVER COMPLETELY AT SOME TIME IN THE PAST????

(although I thought THE ENGLISH PATIENT was fine, even if JULIET BINOCHE was THE UNQUESTIONABLE LEAD and SCOTT-THOMAS's was clearly the supporting part)

Let's see. I was too young to have seen it at the time, but I felt that way when I caught up with American Beauty.


In times though of actually hating a film at the very moment it was the "it" film, there were the following:

Birdman/2014
The Revenant/2015
Moonlight/2016 (more like extreme indifference than hatred)
Elle/2016
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri/2017
The Florida Project/2017
Joker/2019
Promising Young Woman/2020
Don't Look Up/2021 (I actually used these GIFs of Elaine to voice how I felt about the film)
Spenser/2021
Barbie/2023

[Hibi]

(IN RE: THE ELAINE GIFS)

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!

I LIVE!!!!!!

PS- IS THERE A SINGLE PERSON WHO POSTS HERE WHO IS FAMILIAR WITH "THE ENGLISH PATIENT EPISODE" OF SEINFELD THAT HASN'T FELT THAT EXACT SAME WAY ABOUT SOME MOVIE EVERYONE WAS LOSING IT OVER COMPLETELY AT SOME TIME IN THE PAST????

(although I thought THE ENGLISH PATIENT was fine, even if JULIET BINOCHE was THE UNQUESTIONABLE LEAD and SCOTT-THOMAS's was clearly the supporting part)

YEP. Everyone has a film everyone goes gaga over that they just can't stand personally.

[CinemaInternational]

I loved that episode!!! YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (She had to go to Morocco and live in a cave to get her job back!) I loved that Peterman actor.

The actor was John O'Hurley, who, you guessed it, played a slithery victim in the 12th season opener of Murder She Wrote. He pops up every year on Thanksgiving as one of NBC's commentators for a dog show that airs after the Macy's parade.

[Hibi]

I loved that episode!!! YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (She had to go to Morocco and live in a cave to get her job back!) I loved that Peterman actor.

The actor was John O'Hurley, who, you guessed it, played a slithery victim in the 12th season opener of Murder She Wrote. He pops up every year on Thanksgiving as one of NBC's commentators for a dog show that airs after the Macy's parade.

Yes, I'd forgotten his name! And I DO remember that Murder, She Wrote episode that actually had 2 co-killers! He was on Dancing With The Stars too, one season. (I didnt watch, but remember he was on). I love his voice.

[Allhallowsday]

THE GODFATHER (1972) Again. Are there cracks at the seams? I still love that kitty!

[Lorna]

THE THING ABOUT MODERN COMMERCIALS that gets me is THAT THEY ARE soooooooooooooo PUNISHINGLY DREADFUL- and there is NO NEED FOR THEM TO BE.

I was recently looking at commercials from the 70s 80s and 90s ON YOUTUBE and was taken aback by how INNOCUOUS AND INNOFFENSIVE AND TO-THE-POINT THEY ARE.

No stunt casting of polarizing celebs (every time I see SCHWARZENAGGER in one of those STATE FARM ADS I OUTRIGHT TURN OFF WHATEVER I AM WATCHING AND MOVE ON TO SOMETHING ELSE, SEE ALSO: rebel wilson FOR MATCH.COM AND PETE DAVIDSON, PERIOD)

There were no "wet teddy bears" or idiotic nonsense hypothetical scenarios about "LIBERTY BIBBERTY" or "my car named BRAD" in the CAR INSURANCE COMMERCIALS- they just TOLD YOU WHAT THEIR PLAN WAS AND THEN LET YOU GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE.

THERE WAS NO INTERACTIVE ADS THAT FROZE OR LOCKED YOUR SCREEN IF YOU CHOSE NOT TO INTERRACT WITH THEM.

THERE WAS NO DOUG AND NO LIMU EMO.

NO "I LIKE TO SMELL MY BEARD GUY"

AND NO FLO.

so help me, if I could put that woman on a rocket to the sun I WOULD.

AND "FEMININE DRYNESS" AND "BUTT STINK" AND THE ACTUAL FUNCTION OF TOILET PAPER WERE DISCUSSIONS LEFT FOR PRIVATE LOCKER ROOMS.

SO MANY ADS I SEE FROM 1970-1999 FEATURE PLEASANT-LOOKING, NON IRRITATING PEOPLE TELLING YOU DIRECTLY WHAT THE PRODUCT IS AND WHAT IT DOES AND HOW MUCH IT COST AND THEN THEY GOT THE **** OFF YOUR SCREEN AND LET YOU GET BACK TO "DAYS OF OUR LIVES."

BUT NO, WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS ANYMORE, SO INSTEAD WE HAVE A "BOOKING.COM" COMMERCIAL WHERE ONE GUY SPOTTING A GUY ON A BENCH PRESS SPITS HIS GUM INTO THE MOUTH OF THE OTHER GUY BY ACCIDENT- AND IT HAPPENS IN THE FIRST FIVE SECONDS, YOU CAN'T MISS IT! I HAD TO GET OFF THE ELLIPTICAL MACHINE AT THE GYM BECAUSE I LITERALLY GAGGED WATCHING IT!!!!!

I mean, if you had gone to an AD AGENCY in 1967 and said "we want to sell our product by MAKING PEOPLE PHYSICALLY ILL THROUGH OUR ADS" then DON DRAPER would have shown your assss the door and he would have been write to do it.

sorry guys, I'm on one today. advertisements have become the new "FLAMES ON THE SIIIIIIIDE OF MY FAAAAAACE"

[Lorna]

In times though of actually hating a film at the very moment it was the "it" film, there were the following:

Don't Look Up/2021 (I actually used these GIFs of Elaine to voice how I felt about the film)
Spenser/2021

to be fair, I don't think you were in the minority by not liking those two.
WOOF!

PS- i was thinking about those stupid pearls in the soup just the other day.

[Hibi]

KILL THE LUME LADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[CinemaInternational]

THE THING ABOUT MODERN COMMERCIALS that gets me is THAT THEY ARE soooooooooooooo PUNISHINGLY DREADFUL- and there is NO NEED FOR THEM TO BE.

I was recently looking at commercials from the 70s 80s and 90s ON YOUTUBE and was taken aback by how INNOCUOUS AND INNOFFENSIVE AND TO-THE-POINT THEY ARE.

No stunt casting of polarizing celebs (every time I see SCHWARZENAGGER in one of those STATE FARM ADS I OUTRIGHT TURN OFF WHATEVER I AM WATCHING AND MOVE ON TO SOMETHING ELSE, SEE ALSO: rebel wilson FOR MATCH.COM AND PETE DAVIDSON, PERIOD)

There were no "wet teddy bears" or idiotic nonsense hypothetical scenarios about "LIBERTY BIBBERTY" or "my car named BRAD" in the CAR INSURANCE COMMERCIALS- they just TOLD YOU WHAT THEIR PLAN WAS AND THEN LET YOU GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE.

THERE WAS NO INTERACTIVE ADS THAT FROZE OR LOCKED YOUR SCREEN IF YOU CHOSE NOT TO INTERRACT WITH THEM.

THERE WAS NO DOUG AND NO LIMU EMO.

NO "I LIKE TO SMELL MY BEARD GUY"

AND NO FLO.

so help me, if I could put that woman on a rocket to the sun I WOULD.

AND "FEMININE DRYNESS" AND "BUTT STINK" AND THE ACTUAL FUNCTION OF TOILET PAPER WERE DISCUSSIONS LEFT FOR PRIVATE LOCKER ROOMS.

SO MANY ADS I SEE FROM 1970-1999 FEATURE PLEASANT-LOOKING, NON IRRITATING PEOPLE TELLING YOU DIRECTLY WHAT THE PRODUCT IS AND WHAT IT DOES AND HOW MUCH IT COST AND THEN THEY GOT THE **** OFF YOUR SCREEN AND LET YOU GET BACK TO "DAYS OF OUR LIVES."

BUT NO, WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS ANYMORE, SO INSTEAD WE HAVE A "BOOKING.COM" COMMERCIAL WHERE ONE GUY SPOTTING A GUY ON A BENCH PRESS SPITS HIS GUM INTO THE MOUTH OF THE OTHER GUY BY ACCIDENT- AND IT HAPPENS IN THE FIRST FIVE SECONDS, YOU CAN'T MISS IT! I HAD TO GET OFF THE ELLIPTICAL MACHINE AT THE GYM BECAUSE I LITERALLY GAGGED WATCHING IT!!!!!

I mean, if you had gone to an AD AGENCY in 1967 and said "we want to sell our product by MAKING PEOPLE PHYSICALLY ILL THROUGH OUR ADS" then DON DRAPER would have shown your assss the door and he would have been write to do it.

sorry guys, I'm on one today. advertisements have become the new "FLAMES ON THE SIIIIIIIDE OF MY FAAAAAACE"

Yes, that's true in that commercials these days have truly been missing the point..... they revel in either "comedy" that isn't funny, attempts to be shocking, or outright talking of issues that never would have be said out in the open before. Last year, I came across some episodes of various TV shows of the 80s/early 90s on YouTube that came with their original commercials, and they were much more benign, and the biggest stunt casting was Lynn Redgrave for Weight Watchers or Allyce Beasley (Moonlighting's Agnes DiPesto) for Kraft Parmesan Cheese. And all of them were to the point.....

[CinemaInternational]

KILL THE LUME LADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As much as I loathe those commmercials, that's going to far. But maybe, possibly we can offer her a variation on 1993's Indecent Proposal: have some multi-billionaire offer her $100 million dollars to stop advertising on TV for good.

[Lorna]

KILL THE LUME LADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

[Lorna]

KILL THE LUME LADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As much as I loathe those commmercials, that's going to far. But maybe, possibly we can offer her a variation on 1993's Indecent Proposal: have some multi-billionaire offer her $100 million dollars to stop advertising on TV for good.

NO NO BLOODLUST IS THE ONLY ANSWER!!!!

(catches breath)
(counts to ten)
(calms down)

Okay, no, you're right.

I guess murder is a sin.

No cash offer though- just force her to live a life of UTTER ANONYMITY

God, look what modern ads have done to me!!!!!

I used to be much nicer.

Okay, that's a lie