Is the internet really bad for me?
Thank goodness for parents like you, Chris and Chris...Fathers who are not afraid to parent. No one ever said it would be easy, but so many find as soon as it starts getting tough, it's easier to dither than to take a stand. I think all the moms here would echo my ATTA BOY!!!! to both of you.
"Life is not the way it's supposed to be.. It's the way it is..
The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference." ~ Virginia Satir
""Most people pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it." ~ Soren Kierkegaard
The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference." ~ Virginia Satir
""Most people pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it." ~ Soren Kierkegaard
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charliechaplinfan
- Posts: 9040
- Joined: January 15th, 2008, 9:49 am
Isn't it the hardest thing in the world to always be consistent with them so they don't get a mixed message? To refuse them the chocolate biscuit if they haven't had their tea is fine when you're feeling fine and dandy but to take the same stand when you are so tired because you've been up most of the night with one of them, then it's so easy to give in, but you can't or else they see the chink in your armour and go for it over and over again.
Parenting is one big learning curve. It's really not an option to duck responsibilities.
A benevolent dictatorship I like that Chris, I'm going to remember that for my kids. You've hit the nail on the head.
Parenting is one big learning curve. It's really not an option to duck responsibilities.
A benevolent dictatorship I like that Chris, I'm going to remember that for my kids. You've hit the nail on the head.
Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself - Charlie Chaplin
Bryce:
Disagreement is the basis for a good discussion. A good return given with respect and your opinion is always appreciated. Don't quit unless you feel you've said all you could. The only thing I suspect is that you are of a different generation and haven't yet experienced quite what we have, or your kids are still very little. Remember, with little kids you have little problems, with big kids you have big problems, and it NEVER stops. Mine are all in their 40's and still not sure of what they should do or say.
CCfan: My oldest son is 45 and he hugs me just like your little guy does. They never get too old to know Mom is there for them, and sometimes a hug is the only way they can acknowledge it.
I like that benevolent dictatorship also - wish I had thought of it!!!
Also Bryce:
Yes, as I said, kids are people too most definitely, but better to have to punish them at 6 for stealing a candy bar from K-Mart, than going to trial at 17 for stealing a pair of Nikes. That's basically what I meant when I used that phrase.
Anne
Disagreement is the basis for a good discussion. A good return given with respect and your opinion is always appreciated. Don't quit unless you feel you've said all you could. The only thing I suspect is that you are of a different generation and haven't yet experienced quite what we have, or your kids are still very little. Remember, with little kids you have little problems, with big kids you have big problems, and it NEVER stops. Mine are all in their 40's and still not sure of what they should do or say.
CCfan: My oldest son is 45 and he hugs me just like your little guy does. They never get too old to know Mom is there for them, and sometimes a hug is the only way they can acknowledge it.
I like that benevolent dictatorship also - wish I had thought of it!!!
Also Bryce:
Yes, as I said, kids are people too most definitely, but better to have to punish them at 6 for stealing a candy bar from K-Mart, than going to trial at 17 for stealing a pair of Nikes. That's basically what I meant when I used that phrase.
Anne
Anne
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movieman1957
- Administrator
- Posts: 5522
- Joined: April 15th, 2007, 3:50 pm
- Location: MD
Bryce:
They certainly are people and I haven't thought anything you said as combative. Not at all.
I'm not sure where we disagree. Do we?
All I'm saying is ultimately I'm responsible. As long as they're with me I need to give them the proper setting. love, instruction, freedom and restraint. I still need to know where they are, who they are with and when they are coming home. I see it as my job to teach them first to be a good person. With this comes what they learn to be a good parent. I also teach them to be a good spouse by loving their mother. At some point I will have done all I can do. They have to go from there.
That doesn't mean they don't have input or that we don't listen to them or let them make their own mistakes. We may warn them what they are doing might not always be the right thing but that doesn't mean we can always stop them. Anne is right. As kids get older you trade on kind of problem for another and it is usually harder and the consequences are bigger.
It is the hardest job anyone will ever do.
They certainly are people and I haven't thought anything you said as combative. Not at all.
I'm not sure where we disagree. Do we?
All I'm saying is ultimately I'm responsible. As long as they're with me I need to give them the proper setting. love, instruction, freedom and restraint. I still need to know where they are, who they are with and when they are coming home. I see it as my job to teach them first to be a good person. With this comes what they learn to be a good parent. I also teach them to be a good spouse by loving their mother. At some point I will have done all I can do. They have to go from there.
That doesn't mean they don't have input or that we don't listen to them or let them make their own mistakes. We may warn them what they are doing might not always be the right thing but that doesn't mean we can always stop them. Anne is right. As kids get older you trade on kind of problem for another and it is usually harder and the consequences are bigger.
It is the hardest job anyone will ever do.
Chris
"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana."
"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana."
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charliechaplinfan
- Posts: 9040
- Joined: January 15th, 2008, 9:49 am
Anne, I'm so glad to hear you still get hugs from your guy. There's hope for me in years to come 
Chris, I agree with what you say about parental responsibilities, you put it so well.
Bryce, I'm thinking perhaps we share a generation. I remember you said in a previous post that you said some lovely things your wife and how you didn't want children. You both sound like the kind of people who would make great parents. I'm trying not to sound trite or condescending by saying that, it's not how I intend to come across.
None of your comments have upset me either, I like to hear another person's view. Nothing you have said has sounded combative to me.
Chris, I agree with what you say about parental responsibilities, you put it so well.
Bryce, I'm thinking perhaps we share a generation. I remember you said in a previous post that you said some lovely things your wife and how you didn't want children. You both sound like the kind of people who would make great parents. I'm trying not to sound trite or condescending by saying that, it's not how I intend to come across.
None of your comments have upset me either, I like to hear another person's view. Nothing you have said has sounded combative to me.
Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself - Charlie Chaplin