An Open Letter to all my Friends
Posted: July 24th, 2008, 7:49 am
Although I candidly feel that I yet need more time away before returning to this Community on a consistently dependable basis, I decided this morning that I did want to touch-base with you fine folks, briefly, before formally starting my day.
First, thank you- . . from the proverbial bottom of my Heart, and the wellspring of my Soul, for all your postings, pm's, calls, emails & cards of sympathy, empathy & support; trust me when I say that, in the maelstrom of the past ten days, they were among the few rocks to which I could occasionally cling. In particular, I am profoundly grateful to our magnificent Moira; she stepped selflessly forward to be my liaison & spokesperson at the hour of my most shattering grief.
Secondly, please have faith that the ol' Sled Dog is indeed healing, and shall, eventually, return to you stronger and in better moral & mental health than ever - though I don't mind confiding in you that it was what my hill-folk grandparents used to call "a near thing"; in all those wild, near-mortal adventures during my decades of kicking around Southeast Asia, Canada, Mexico, Alaska, the Pacific Northwest and Northern New England, never have I lived, walked and slept so close to the jagged lip of the Great Abyss.
Thirdly, I just wanted to report to you all that we had a lovely Service for my girl this past Sunday, during which I carried you all with me in my brimming, breaking, swollen heart; the attendance was far more than we had reckoned, with family, friends, neighbors & co-workers streaming bountifully in during those two hours, including tartaned kith & kin from Clan MacIntyre, Clan Scott & House Gordon, as well as tribal elders from the Mohawk & Abenaki nations.
She touched so many lives!
Finally, I would like to leave you with some excerpts from my daughter's obituary notice, and then, with a full transcript of the elegy I wrote about her, and read at her service:
> After battling multiple illnesses for several years, at the age of 25, Caitlin passed-over peacefully in her sleep, at her home on Westminster Street, in Bellows Falls, in the early morning hours of Tuesday, July 15, 2008.
She was born on May 4, 1983 in Peterborough, NH, and attended schools on Vashon Island, Washington and in Keene, NH.
At the age of nine, she began training as an apprentice fire-keeper, in the Cherokee medicine tradition, at Sweet Bear Lodge, on Vashon Island.
In 1999, she became the youngest NH resident ever to earn an LNA degree, and utilized those skills in a brief but rewarding career in elder care at Harborview.
Since 2004, she had worked seasonally as Office Manager for Green Mountain Traffic Control, Inc.
She is cherished in the memories of her family, friends & co-workers as a vibrant and deeply compassionate young woman with an intuitive flair for the arts, culture and humanity.
She is survived by her husband, a daughter, two sons, and her parents, all of Bellows Falls, Vermont; two brothers; her maternal grandparents; two aunts, two uncles, two sisters-in-law, four nieces, a nephew and many cousins.
> MY CAIT
she can’t be gone, not my girl, not my Cait;
the walls of her physical heart may have stopped moving, her worldly breath have stilled, but I know she is not gone, never that . . silly planet, silly thoughts, she could not be gone – who could think that of this girl of girls, who could so easily, joyfully spend an hour looking for faeries in a flower garden, or chatting with old ladies in a bingo hall, or shooting tequila in a stomping roadhouse, or nursing an ill child with a fever, or combing a beach for shells; no, she’s never left, could never leave, she loves too much the crashing drama of thunderstorms, and waking on bright mornings to see the sunflowers already tracking the path of the day, and knocking on the doors of her loved ones, with smiles & laughter to share; it’s just that now she visits in the time & place of dreams, where she still laughs & learns & grows & teaches, and also in those beloved rooms of memory, and in the growing, brightening, magical eyes of her incredible children –
my Cait, gone? – perish the thought, dear friends, for she loves so well, and is loved so well by so many, that she herself is immortal, and she will never perish.
Time, and this physical universe, challenges the survival of cities and continents and entire worlds, but true Love – big, deep, strong, growing, unconditional & absolute, is indestructible, surviving the tragedies of lifetimes, and the simple threshold of what we call Death, and defeating even the domination of Time . . and that’s my girl, that’s my Cait -
she waits sweetly & patiently to go on sharing our lives; All she asks from us now, is all she ever asked for- our strength, our remembrance, and our Faith.
I’ll never let her down, not my girl, not my Cait; she’s never left me, never gone away, and I shall never leave her -
‘Cause that’s my girl, my Cait. <<
First, thank you- . . from the proverbial bottom of my Heart, and the wellspring of my Soul, for all your postings, pm's, calls, emails & cards of sympathy, empathy & support; trust me when I say that, in the maelstrom of the past ten days, they were among the few rocks to which I could occasionally cling. In particular, I am profoundly grateful to our magnificent Moira; she stepped selflessly forward to be my liaison & spokesperson at the hour of my most shattering grief.
Secondly, please have faith that the ol' Sled Dog is indeed healing, and shall, eventually, return to you stronger and in better moral & mental health than ever - though I don't mind confiding in you that it was what my hill-folk grandparents used to call "a near thing"; in all those wild, near-mortal adventures during my decades of kicking around Southeast Asia, Canada, Mexico, Alaska, the Pacific Northwest and Northern New England, never have I lived, walked and slept so close to the jagged lip of the Great Abyss.
Thirdly, I just wanted to report to you all that we had a lovely Service for my girl this past Sunday, during which I carried you all with me in my brimming, breaking, swollen heart; the attendance was far more than we had reckoned, with family, friends, neighbors & co-workers streaming bountifully in during those two hours, including tartaned kith & kin from Clan MacIntyre, Clan Scott & House Gordon, as well as tribal elders from the Mohawk & Abenaki nations.
She touched so many lives!
Finally, I would like to leave you with some excerpts from my daughter's obituary notice, and then, with a full transcript of the elegy I wrote about her, and read at her service:
> After battling multiple illnesses for several years, at the age of 25, Caitlin passed-over peacefully in her sleep, at her home on Westminster Street, in Bellows Falls, in the early morning hours of Tuesday, July 15, 2008.
She was born on May 4, 1983 in Peterborough, NH, and attended schools on Vashon Island, Washington and in Keene, NH.
At the age of nine, she began training as an apprentice fire-keeper, in the Cherokee medicine tradition, at Sweet Bear Lodge, on Vashon Island.
In 1999, she became the youngest NH resident ever to earn an LNA degree, and utilized those skills in a brief but rewarding career in elder care at Harborview.
Since 2004, she had worked seasonally as Office Manager for Green Mountain Traffic Control, Inc.
She is cherished in the memories of her family, friends & co-workers as a vibrant and deeply compassionate young woman with an intuitive flair for the arts, culture and humanity.
She is survived by her husband, a daughter, two sons, and her parents, all of Bellows Falls, Vermont; two brothers; her maternal grandparents; two aunts, two uncles, two sisters-in-law, four nieces, a nephew and many cousins.
> MY CAIT
she can’t be gone, not my girl, not my Cait;
the walls of her physical heart may have stopped moving, her worldly breath have stilled, but I know she is not gone, never that . . silly planet, silly thoughts, she could not be gone – who could think that of this girl of girls, who could so easily, joyfully spend an hour looking for faeries in a flower garden, or chatting with old ladies in a bingo hall, or shooting tequila in a stomping roadhouse, or nursing an ill child with a fever, or combing a beach for shells; no, she’s never left, could never leave, she loves too much the crashing drama of thunderstorms, and waking on bright mornings to see the sunflowers already tracking the path of the day, and knocking on the doors of her loved ones, with smiles & laughter to share; it’s just that now she visits in the time & place of dreams, where she still laughs & learns & grows & teaches, and also in those beloved rooms of memory, and in the growing, brightening, magical eyes of her incredible children –
my Cait, gone? – perish the thought, dear friends, for she loves so well, and is loved so well by so many, that she herself is immortal, and she will never perish.
Time, and this physical universe, challenges the survival of cities and continents and entire worlds, but true Love – big, deep, strong, growing, unconditional & absolute, is indestructible, surviving the tragedies of lifetimes, and the simple threshold of what we call Death, and defeating even the domination of Time . . and that’s my girl, that’s my Cait -
she waits sweetly & patiently to go on sharing our lives; All she asks from us now, is all she ever asked for- our strength, our remembrance, and our Faith.
I’ll never let her down, not my girl, not my Cait; she’s never left me, never gone away, and I shall never leave her -
‘Cause that’s my girl, my Cait. <<