The Silver Screen Oasis

Your fiance did this to you? This seems so contrary to how you described him. Well now, what to do.....

HI Masha,

I can well imagine that your gaster is indeed flabbered!! I love that phrase and hope you won't mind if I borrow (steal) it.....

I perceive that this man is controlling, not really kind, caring and romantic and indeed lulls you into a false sense of security. You have pegged him acurately. I can't imagine anyone doing all this and thinking it's a humourous item.
I say 'kick him to the curb' and find somebody worthy of your trust, compassion and love.

I wish you well...

Larry

Something that will make him suffer for years? Something relatively simple?

Has anyone suggested marriage?

You need to work a long con to drive him crazy. Marriage is one option.

Here's another: you get one of those prank annoy-a-tron things from here: http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/b278/? ... oCiCzw_wcB

Hide it in his car. Really, really well, like inside a door panel. He will go mad trying to figure out what's beeping. It will last for months.

Flabbers gastered? Evil pranks of unending torture??

Masha you write BRILLIANTLY! And can weave a tale like nobody's business. Wish I had a suggestion ( though ChiO's suggestion of marriage sounds like your best bet. ) THAT'S a prank that keeps on giving. D'0H!!!

Masha, the ThinkGeek site that Lomm linked above looks like an excellent resource. The Phantom Keystroker could work well if he has a desktop computer with USB ports in back so that he would not see the device right away. It's out of stock right now, so you'd have to wait a little while before you could order it. For something available now, there is the EvilTron -- similar to the sound device Lomm recommended, but instead of a loud beeping it generates creepy sounds like gasping breath, laughs, and whispers.

But, my own philosophy is to turn away from revenge/retribution. Rise above his practical joke and simply forgive.

Even better, give the appearance of forgiving, and implement the revenge later, planned carefully.