cinemalover: Confessions of a Video Junkie

[cinemalover]

Thanks for the info, Mike.

That definitely sounds like something that I would enjoy watching.

[cinemalover]

Heading back to the studio backlot version of Africa as we return to visit Tarzan and Jane in the middle 5 chapters of this15 chapter extravaganza…


Date watched: 6/28/2008
Title: Tarzan the Tiger Made: 1929
Genre: Serial Studio: Adventure Pictures/Universal
Format: DVD Extras—15 Chapters/None
Number of times viewed: First

Director: Henry MacRae

Stars:
Frank Merrill—Tarzan/Lord Greystoke
Natalie Kingston—Jane
Al Ferguson—Albert Werper
Sheldon Lewis—Achmet Zek
Mademoiselle Kithnou—Queen La of Opar
Paul Panzer—Mohammed By
Clive Morgan—Philip Annersley

From the story “Tarzan and the Jewels of Opar” by Edgar Rice Burroughs.

Premise: The story starts right out in Tarzan’s career without stopping to set up his back-story. Presumably he was such a popular character from earlier films, books, pulps and comic strips that they didn’t need to educate their audience as to who he was or how he got to that point. Tarzan and Jane are married and living on the elegant Greystoke Estate in Africa, on the outskirts of the jungle. That’s where the action picks up….

Chapter 6: Tantor the Terror

After Tarzan saves Jane from the slaver’s market she takes him to the jungle hut that he grew up in. She tries to jar his (M.I.A.) memory by showing him the books she had taught him to read with. She tells him an abbreviated story of how he was raised by apes (the first peak at Tarzan’s origin for the viewing audience). Tarzan vaguely remembers, but it doesn’t snap him out of his memory slumber. He leaves the hut to scout the area, leaving Jane by herself. Shortly thereafter Werper shows up at the hut, pretending to be a friend, warning Jane that Achmet has captured Tarzan and that he has sent his men to capture her also. If she would be willing to pretend to be Werper’s prisoner he will find a way to save her (yeah, right). She sees few options open to her and agrees to accompany Werper, suspecting that if she didn’t agree that he would overpower her.

Tarzan returns to the hut to find Jane missing. Instead of being concerned that she may be in danger, his immediate thought is that she stole his “pretty baubles” that he had left with her. He becomes enraged and sets out to find her and reclaim his jewels.

Jane did have the jewels on her, a fact that Werper was delighted to discover. He confiscates the stones and turns her over to the slavers to be auctioned off to the highest bidder.

Jane, “You lied to me! Pretended friendship to betray me!”
Werper, “Why not? I have the jewels and who can tell Tarzan, even if he should regain his memory?”

Then the market is terrified by the oncoming war cries of Tarzan as he comes charging in on Tantor the elephant. Tarzan seeks Jane and his jewels. All the noise that Tarzan and his pachyderm friend create allows one of the slavers plenty of time to grab Jane and ride off towards the jungle on camel back….

Chapter 7: In Deadly Peril!

Tarzan on his trusty steed, Tantor, is chasing the slaver on camel back who has abducted Jane. Tarzan isn’t concerned about Jane’s health, his priority is getting his jewels back.

Meanwhile, back at the slave market, Werper is being confronted by the nomads that he had engaged to help him. They know about the jewels he acquired form Jane and they want their share of the loot. They grab the pouch that holds the jewels from Werper but open it to a surprise.
Nomad chief, “This pouch holds no jewels, only gravel from some river’s shore!”
Oh, that tricky Jane. She outfoxed the oily Werper.

Tarzan catches up to and recovers Jane from the slaver. His fury is calmed when she manages to convince him that she didn’t steal his jewels, she merely hid them for safekeeping back at the hut when Werper took her away. Somehow Werper has escaped the wrath of the nomads and has tracked Tarzan to his conversation with Jane. He levels a rifle at Tarzan’s head and is posed to pull the trigger….

Chapter 8: The Loop of Death

Werper has overheard that the jewels are still hiding in the hut and races to reach them before Tarzan and Jane can get to them. Tarzan has jungle allies to speed his journey though as he again bellows out a call fro Tantor. The elephant quickly arrives to give Tarzan and Jane a comfy ride. The hut is more than a day’s distance away so Tarzan halts their progress to make camp for the night. Jane is enjoying spending time close to her husband, even though he doesn’t remember that she is his wife.
Jane, “I am happy Tarzan! In my heart I know you are beginning to remember me…Jane. Your wife!”

Despite Jane’s obvious invitation to have Tarzan share her bed he takes to the trees to sleep. The next morning when Jane jumps naked into the nearby lake to get early bath, Tarzan gets an eyeful that sets his chest to heaving in rapid breath. While Tarzan is being…distracted…by Jane’s bathing body , Werper slips past them on his way to the hut to steal the jewels. He is able to arrive at the hut before the jungle pair and lays a trap for them while waiting to see where the jewels are hid.

Tarzan enters the hut with Jane and she shows him the precious pouch of stones so that he knows she didn’t steal them. Just then, Werper activates his trap, which drops a lasso down around tarzan’s brawny shoulder, pinning his arms to his side. As he is momentarily confined and confused Werper approaches from behind with a dagger ready to dissect the jungle lord….

(On this print the end of this chapter is so dark that you have to skip ahead to the recap at the beginning of the next chapter to figure out what was happening)

Chapter 9: The Flight of Werper!

This chapter uses Jane’s continued attempt to restore Tarzan’s memory as framework to recap the story to this point. This helps remind the faithful weekly viewers of the details over the course of the previous 8 weeks and allows anyone that missed any chapters to get caught up.

While Jane drones on Tarzan seems more concerned with playing with his pretty pebble than reigniting his synapses. With her current attempt not making any progress to clear the fog form Tarzan’s brain, Jane puts forth a really bad idea. She’ll take Tarzan back to Opar to shake his memory loose.

Werper, who narrowly escaped the wrath of Tarzan after their latest encounter, is also headed to Opar. He hopes to recruit La and some of her sun-worshippers to help him in his quest against Tarzan and for the jewels. Instead, he is met by the eternally angry la who remembers her last encounter with Werper, when he was to be the next sacrifice on her altar. She likes the odds of a do-over.
La (gleefully), “This time Tarzan is not here to save you from the sacrificial altar!”

Werper, feeling his life on the line, tries a new deceitful tact, “Stop! The flaming god has sent me here! Not as a sacrifice, but to help you! You want to claim Tarzan as your own…and I alone know where he is! Promise to give Lady Jane into my hands, and I will lead you to them!”
La (with a wicked gleam in her eye), “I could wish her no worse fate than into your hands.”

Werper leads La and her worshippers back out to the foliage in search of the jungle couple. Tarzan and Jane are progressing towards Opar, but Tarzan pauses to help a doe out of a bog. While he is distracted with the rescue attempt Numa the lion sees an opportunity to collect some tasty breakfast. The giant feline propels itself into the air with a roar, looking to dissect Tarzan with a mighty swipe of its paw….

Chapter 10: Prisoner of the Apes

Jane is upset and crying after their brush with death. Tarzan tries to pacify her by offering her his pouch of jewels. She pushes them aside, insisting that the only treasure she desires is the return of Tarzan’s memory and for him to be by her side again as her husband.

Werper is still scouring the jungle with la and her men, looking for the Greystokes. Tarzan and Jane have paused for a mid-day meal with Jane tending a fire while Tarzan goes to find some lunch meat. Tarzan is high up in the branches of a tree when he looks back to wistfully admire Jane.

Title card, “Dimly to Tarzan’s clouded mind comes the realization that Lady Jane is his---to protect against all harm!”

Also wandering through the backlot jungle is Chulk, king of the apes and brother of Taglat, whom Tarzan had killed earlier in the serial. He is searching the trees, seeking to take some simian sibling vengeance out on that man who swings through the trees.

Tarzan is hunting game, Chulk is hunting Tarzan and Werper and La come upon an unguarded Jane at the campfire. The leer that Werper lays on Jane’s scantily clad body would be enough to get a guy arrested in most states. Once again Jane becomes a captive (I’ve already lost track of how many times this has happened) and she will be used as bait to lure her mate into a trap.

When Tarzan returns to the camp with his catch of the day he realizes that Jane has been taken. He fills the air with his jungle yelps and proceeds to follow the tracks to reclaim Jane. The trail takes him to La, who is posing in leggy cheesecake mode awaiting the jungle king, the target of her affections.
La, “It is I…La…come to claim you as my king!”
Tarzan (less than impressed), “Go back to Opar! Tarzan will choose his own mate!”
La, “When I return to Opar you will go with me….to rule over my people….and my heart!”

La just doesn’t understand the concept of “No”. She tries to convince Tarzan that Jane does not want him anymore and that she has deserted him. She fails to tell Tarzan that her warriors have tied Jane up and left her in the middle of the jungle at the mercy of the local inhabitants. Chulk the ape is the next one to find her and recognizes her as Tarzan’s mate. It fits his revenge plans perfectly as he picks her up like a sack of groceries and wanders into the dense foliage. La orders her warriors to trap the uncooperative Tarzan in a hunting net so that he will be unable to leave her, or to rescue Jane….

Lots of protagonists for Tarzan to play off of in this action-filled chapter play. There’s slave traders, evil Englishmen, La and her sun-worshippers and a multitude of jungle beasts, some real and some via furry costumes. Merrill continues to have the right physical tools to impress as the king of the jungle but hasn’t a clue as to how to use his facial features or body language to emote any feelings. He is cardboard with biceps when it comes to acting. Natalie Kingston is beautiful as Jane, it’s too bad the script doesn’t allow her to be much more than a damsel in distress. The character of Jane should be a strong role, one capable of standing up for herself otherwise she’d better get back to London. If she stays in the jungle she’ll be the first victim in the survival of the fittest equation.

The action is quick as one peril always leads directly into the next as there is no safety in the jungle. The pace makes it easy to stay focused on the chapters and appreciate the tale. The cliff-hangers are never very original and with all the potential of the environment and assorted villains they certainly would qualify as a disappointment. Not a bad serial, just not nearly as good as it could have been with a little more imagination.


5* (out of 10) Where’s Cheetah? (Yeah, I know he wasn’t in the books, but a monkey mascot would have livened things up).

[cinemalover]

Date watched: 6/23/2008
Title: The Ghost (Lo Spettro) Made: 1963
Genre: Thriller Studio: Panda
Format: DVD Extras—FS, Dubbed.
Number of times viewed: 2

Director: Robert Hampton

Stars:
Barbara Steele—Margaret Hichcock
Peter Baldwin—Dr. Charles Livingstone
Harriet White—Catherine Wood, Housekeeper
Leonard G. Elliott—Dr. John Hichcock
Charles Kechler—Police Superintendent
Raoul H. Newman—Canon Ownes
Reginald Price Anderson—Albert Fisher

Score: Frank Wallace

Taglines:
Horror---sharp as a razor’s edge!

Written in blood! The black sign of death is on this house!

Scotland 1910:
Dr. John Hichcock (Elliott) has become a cripple and is using his medical knowledge and the help of young Dr. Charles Livingstone (Baldwin) to try radical solutions on himself in an attempt to cure his affliction. The “cure’ involves swallowing a series of poisons and then the appropriate antidote in time to counteract the effects of the poison. This revolutionary process is intended to shock his nerve and muscles back into activity, though has proven fruitless so far.

John’s wife, Margaret (Steele at her oddly sexy best), has been very supportive of her husband’s travails, only hoping that he is able to achieve success and recuperate fully. John is getting very frustrated at the lack of progress and is tired of dealing with his pain, his behavior has suggested to Charles that he is contemplating suicide.

Charles, “Don’t you realize that you must get well. You must! It isn’t only your life, it’s your theory, you’re cure. That wonderful inspiration that will save the lives of millions of poor cripples!”
John, “Yes. I must not forget the efforts you’ve made. It’s a heavy responsibility for a doctor to give lethal poison to a wealthy patient.”
Charles, “These two poisons will stimulate your limbs back to life. I know it!”
John (having been talked down off the ledge), "Thank you. You give me faith. And if you change your mind, Charles, it would be simple to put me away. A drop more poison….too little antidote, and that is natural. You’ve a declaration signed by me which limits you to carrying out my preparation.”

But it seems that Charles is dipping into more than just the medicine chest while hanging around the house. He and Margaret are having a torrid affair that both John and the housekeeper, Catherine (White), suspect, but can’t prove. John confronts Margaret in a rage about her possible dalliance with Charles, he pulls a gun from a drawer and aims it at her as her Bambi eyes grow ever wider. Then, abruptly, he puts the barrel to his own temple and tenses as though preparing to pull the trigger before Barbara grabs the gun away.

John (feeling inadequate and at fault if Margaret is indeed fooling around), “You ought to let me do it! I’m just a living corpse!”

Despite Margaret’s pretense at being a loving, faithful wife she is sick of being attached to a cripple. She’s young and beautiful and wants to live a full life with a real man. She regrets that she stopped John from decorating the wall with his brains, or perhaps she just didn’t want to stain the furniture. But now she has decided that he must die, and she wants Charles to do it. Charles is enchanted with her, but he’s no murderer. He refuses to be a part of her plot.

Margaret, “I thought you loved me. I thought you’d do anything in the world for me!”
Charles, “Anything…but that…”

Margaret continues to play the devoted wife for John but her hatred for him swells inside her. Ultimately, her feminine charms are able to persuade Charles to her way of thinking. One night, after giving John the standard dose of poison, he withholds the antidote. Margaret and Charles wait outside the room for an hour as John is dying. Then they go back in to check on him to confirm his death. They try hard to hide their pleasure at his demise.

On the evening following John’s funeral Charles and Margaret should be floating on Cloud Nine, having everything they desire at their fingertips. But the house does not seem settled that night. A wild howling dog outside their window is driving Margaret batty. She pleads with Charles to make it stop. He picks up a revolver, walks to the window, and with one shot silences the dog for good. Then they hear a strange noise coming from the upstairs of the house. They go to investigate only to find John’s wheelchair tumbling down the staircase, seemingly of its own volition. Then they find Catherine passed out, but she suddenly starts speaking, as though possessed, with John’s voice calling for Margaret. The couple is anything but happy with their fate.

The next day, when the will is read, the house, the property and one third of the contents of the safe are left for Margaret on the condition that she continues to employ Catherine “until the end of her days”. The other two thirds of the safe’s contents (which is where John kept all his money, will go to the church’s orphan fund. Barbara goes to fetch the key that opens the safe but it is missing. She frantically searches the house and still cannot find it. Catherine casually mentions that she saw the master (John) slip the key into his jacket pocket the day before he died. The jacket that he was buried in.

Margaret waits until everyone leaves from the reading of the will. She is now desperate to find the key without any witnesses around so that she can empty much of the safe’s contents and not have to give two thirds of the wealth to the orphans. She’s a bad, bad girl. Margaret and Charles head to the family crypt to rob the dead. They find the key and head back to the safe, making sure that Catherine is not watching. They open the safe and Margaret is prepared to explode with greed until they see that the safe is empty. No cash, no stocks, no bonds. Squat, diddley, jack. Charles says he’ll take the key and toss it into the lake so that no one will know that they were able to get into the safe and accuse them of stealing the contents. If Margaret were hard to live with before, and she was, her bad disposition just made it worse. People from the village start to openly question why John’s doctor, Charles, is still living in the house with his widow. Gossip runs amok.

The house continues to creak and shudder and these two co-conspirators start to see things that aren’t there as their guilty consciences fuel these visions. Soon they are suspicious of each other and ready to turn against each other. Blood drips from the ceiling onto Margaret when she lies on her bed. Charles sees a hanged man in an empty room but when he gets closer the man disappears. They both seem to be losing touch with their sanity. Is the house haunting them or are there more earthly explanations for all the mysterious occurrences? Will these two get what’s coming to them?

The house is always dark and engulfed in deep, unforgiving shadows. It is filmed in sumptuous sepia tones that give it a feeling of existing in its own time and space. The movie drips with creepy atmosphere as the vast majority of the filming is contained within the walls of the house, which acts as one of the film’s characters.

Barbara Steele does an effective job of portraying a woman who is slipping into paranoia and becoming emotionally delusional. Her unique physical appearance, which can range from beautiful to grotesque depending on her make-up and lighting, lends itself to the changing moods of this very selfish character. Her madness sets in slowly, gathering steam as her scheme unravels before her expressive eyes.

6* (out of 10) Leisurely paced so don’t go in expecting a thrill ride. More of an emotional scare than a physical one. The ending is ironically cruel and most fitting.

[cinemalover]

Karie and I recently finished watching the first season of The Unit. I had never seen this show before but had heard good things about it.

It is the story of a covert special forces team that doesn’t exist as far as any normal channels go. They can be dispatched to deal with any kind of emergency, anywhere in the world on a moments notice. They may fight terrorists one week, and rogue military commanders the next, their missions are varied and all are dangerous. The show splits its concentration between the men of The Unit and their wives, who all live on the base. The wives are shown to have to make great sacrifices to support their husband’s chosen careers. They never know where their husbands are sent, or how long they’ll be gone. This can be pretty nerve-wracking considering the one thing that is consistently true, that they are always risking their lives. The wives must also keep their financial worlds afloat as a lack of money is a constant theme. At one point it is revealed that the men make $38,600 per year, a paltry sum considering the risks that they take. The show stars Robert Patrick as Colonel Tom Ryan, Dennis Haysbert as Jonas Blane, Regina Taylor as Molly Blane, Scott Foley as Bob Brown and Audrey Marie Anderson as Kim Brown.

The stories are well told and often heartbreaking. Karie really enjoyed the show. I liked it, though not quite as much as she did. The show does a wonderful job of mixing the action with the reality of these couple’s lives.

Has anyone else seen this show? Do you have an opinion of it?

[jdb1]

Well, Chris - I'm not too surprised that Karie liked The Unit better than you did. I've watched it several times, without having a clue what was going on, but who cares?

Consider -- Robert Patrick AND Dennis Haysbert AND Scott Foley -- together -- in the same show --- YOWSA!!

Every time I see Dennis hawking Allstate Insurance, I have a pressing urge to go out and buy a car, on the off chance I might be the eleven billionth Allstate customer, and he will personally deliver the policy.

[movieman1957]

Judith:

Since that is who I work for I'll see what I can do. If he can't I will.

[knitwit45]

Do you find it jarring that Dennis Haysbert's Allstate commercials are run during the Unit? It seems to ruin the continuity of the program for me.

[mrsl]

I never missed an episode of the first season, but as the second started, I can't remember which week, something happened where I covered my eyes a couple of times during the show, and I kind of fell away from it, but I loved the wives parts and their discussions, as well as their welcoming of newbies. With reruns now, maybe I'll catch back up.

I do agree the commercials do kind of break up the concentration.

Anne

[cinemalover]

Judith,
Thanks for putting it in a different perspective for me. I thought she was watching a little too intently.

I enjoyed Haysbert's work as President Palmer on 24.

Nancy,
Yes, it is disorientating to see an actor hocking products in the middle of a show he's starring in, but that kind of traces back to the roots of television when the stars would do live commercials for their sponsors. Just watch any of the origianl I Love Lucy shows and you'll see evidence of Phillip Morris products and signage everywhere. The diner that Ricky and Fred fequent usually had two well placed Phillip Morris posters conveniently located at eye level just behind their shoulders.

[jdb1]

Nah, that doesn't bother me. I don't think it's as strange as when, in the early days of TV, the lead characters used to do commercials for the sponsors in costume and in character. I well remember Peggy Wood, from I Remember Mama, doing pitches for Maxwell House coffee in her turn of the century long skirts, and with Mama's Norwegian accent. That was weird. (Remember that on the East Coast we didn't know anything about Mrs. Olson and her Folger's coffee until that ad campaign had already been going for years on the West Coast.)

Anyway, I don't think it's possible for me to get too much of Dennis.

[cinemalover]

Date watched: 6/27/2008
Title: The Saint Meets the Tiger Made: 1933
Genre: Detective Studio: Republic
Format: DVD-R Source--TCM
Number of times viewed: First

Director: Paul Stein

Stars:
Hugh Sinclair—Simon Templar aka The Saint
Jean Gillie—Pat Holm
Gordon McLeod—Inspector Claud Teal
Clifford Evans—Tidemarsh aka The Tiger
Wylie Watson—Horace (Templar’s butler)
Dennis Arundell—Lionel Bentley
Charles Vicotr—Bittle
Louise Hampton—Aunt Agatha Gurten
John Salew—Merridon
Arthur Hambling—Police Constable
Amy Veness—Mrs. Donald Jones
Claude Bailey—Donald Jones

Plot: An unknown man calls Simon Templar (Hugh Sinclair), aka the Saint, on the phone and tells him he wants to talk about a large sum of money. Big chunks of cash always pique Simon’s curiosity so he tells the man to come on over to his apartment. When the man arrives at Simon’s front door he has a panicked look upon his face which is understandable as he promptly drops dead. Simon doesn’t recognize him but later learns that he was Joe Gallo, a well-known bookie. Simon calls his friend (it’s a love/hate relationship) on the force, Inspector Teal (McLeod) to alert him to the corpse. Teal is always suspicious of Simon’s involvement with any illegal activity and never fully trusts him. This means he’ll be keeping a close eye on Simon from here on out. The victim was able to get two words out as he was collapsing, he said, “the Tiger…”

Simon and his butler, Horace (Watson) pursue this mystery on their own. Simon pieces together enough clues to lead them to the small village of Baycombe. There he learns that the Tiger has a scheme to purchase a worthless goldmine, but then plant it with stolen gold. His employees will then pretend to discover the gold, thereby legitimizing it and making it legal to own. Simon feels that he is close enough to a solution that he can even brag to Inspector Teal, who is in Baycombe disguised as Professor Karn trying to flush out the Tiger.

Simon, “Before this time tomorrow I’m going to hand over to you the Tiger!”
Teal, “I’ll believe it when I see it!”
Simon, “Oh, you’ll see plenty!”

But the solution is not yet in Simon’s grasp as the Tiger realizes that he’s closing in. The Tiger has one of his men, Mr. Bittle (Victor), accuse Simon of assault to get him arrested and out of the way. Unfortunately for the Tiger Professor Karn (Inspector Teal) is able to provide an alibi for Simon and the Tiger’s scheme fails.

Pat Holm (Gillie), the Saint’s love interest in this entry, also gets involved with Simon’s search for the truth. She and Simon know that the Tiger and his men stole the gold, but they have to find the gold to be able to prove it. So Pat and Simon go on a treasure hunt. Local rumors talk of the existence of a Smuggler’s Cove, which would be a logical place to stash the gold, but no one seems to know where it is. Finally Simon finds Mr. Merridon (Salew) who is the curator of the museum. He is about to reveal the location of the entrance to Smuggler’s Cove when a thrown knife ends his life before he can speak. Soon the Tiger has Simon, Horace and Pat all captured so they can’t disrupt any more of his plans. The only one still roaming around that he has to worry about is Inspector Teal. The Tiger asks Simon what Teal is up to.

Simon, “Gathering bunches of big, bad policeman. He should be along any moment!”

How will the Saint survive this dilemma, and what’s more, do you even care at this point?

This is a dull entry in the series. The banter between Teal and Simon, normally a highlight of these films, is flat and lifeless and doesn’t measure up to the Saint’s snappy repartee standards. What normally separates this series from the run of the mill detective films is the Saint’s known personality, in this case he’s about as exciting as boiled cabbage.

I am very biased towards George Sander’s interpretation of the Saint and in my eyes Hugh Sinclair is a sad shadow filling the shoes rather lamely. Sanders was charming in the role (which is why he’d also do the Falcon series which was little more than a direct lift of the Saint character). Sinclair just doesn’t have the panache required to make this character rise above mediocrity. The Saint is a debonair ladies’ man, Sinclair would find it a challenge to charm an indiscriminate toddler. Even when Sinclair goes to sock a baddie in the kisser he does so in slow motion. It’s as if the director didn’t trust him to hit his mark in regular speed.

3* (out of 10) By far the most lethargic, uninteresting Saint movie that I’ve ever seen. This one feels like the unloved step-child that no one talks about at the family reunion.

[cinemalover]

Last week our family night was spent watching this little number…

Date watched: 6/27/2008
Title: Night at the Museum Made: 2007
Genre: Comedy Studio: 20th Century Fox
Format: DVD Extras—Two Commentaries.
Number of times viewed: First

Director: Shawn Levy

Stars:
Ben Stiller—Larry Daley
Carla Gugino—Rebecca
Dick Van Dyke—Cecil
Mickey Rooney—Gus
Bill Cobbs—Reginald
Robin Williams—Teddy Roosevelt
Ricky Gervais—Dr. McPhee
Jake Cherry—Nick Daley
Kim Raver—Erica Daley
Patrick Gallagher—Attila the Hun
Rami Malek—Ankmenrah
Pierfrancesco Favino—Christopher Columbus
Charles Q. Murphy—Taxi Driver
Mizuo Peck—Sacajawea

Taglines:
Everything comes to life!

See the side of the museum that you won’t see on the tour!

Where history really does come alive!

Story: At the Museum of Natural History in New York, history truly does come to life, but only after sundown when the doors are locked and the tourists and guests are sent on their way. Courtesy of the ancient Egyptian Tablet of Ahkmenrah, which was put on display in the museum in 1952, every object in the museum comes to life from sunset to sunrise. The only people who know about this phenomenon are the here long-time security guards that work the graveyard shift. They are Cecil (Van Dyke), Gus (Rooney in a particularly feisty role) and Reginald (Cobbs). These three have never had any intention of sharing the secret with the world until a change in their situation forced them to. In a cost-cutting move the museum, which is in the red due to failing attendance, has decided to terminate the three senior citizen guards and hire one younger man to replace them all. The job opening has been posted but for whatever reasons the applicants never seem to make it past orientation.

Larry Daley (Stiller) is divorced from Erica (Raver) and gets to spend only limited time with his son, Nick (Cherry). Larry is a dreamer, focusing his efforts on assorted inventions and schemes, all the while trying to hit it big. His failures include inventions like The Snapper (Snap On, Snap Off..the Snapper), because of that stupid Clapper thing. If Larry put anywhere near as much effort into keeping a job as he does into his scatterbrained concoctions he might be able to stay employed. His inability to hold a job has led to him being evicted from several apartments. His constant moving around has led to an erosion of Neal’s faith in his father. Larry’s current unemployment is about to force him to move again, which might be the last straw with his son. He is determined to find a job, any job to avoid this. This leads him to apply for the security position with the museum so that he won’t disappoint his son again.

Larry arrives at the museum with no idea what the job involves. When he first learns that it is a security guard job he is tempted to walk away, but can’t since the stakes are so high. He’s offered the position but no one warns him that it requires some very dangerous on the job training. On his first night of work he meets the three grizzled veteran guards who are on their way out. He is given a brief tour of the exhibits and handed a ratty “instruction manual” while being warned to read it. He of course doesn’t and as he’s alone in the museum, occupying his time with such clever tricks as singing Karaoke over the P.A. system, life gets very interesting. The skeleton of the T-Rex roars to life, wanting to play fetch with Larry. After the shock wears off, and while he’s dodging the gaping jaws of that bony beast, he finally gets a quick peak at the manual, but never has a chance for reading more than a page at a time.

All around Larry the lunatics are running the asylum as there all wild animals running loose ranging from wooly mammoths to African lions. The statues and wax figures also come to life which include Teddy Roosevelt (Williams), Attila the Hun (Gallagher) and Christopher Columbus (Favino), whom Larry can’t identify. Larry’s life is ion danger at every turn, but he manages to survive the night until dawn, when things return to normal. In a frenzied state Larry swears that he’ll never go through that insanity again, he’ll turn in his keys and uniform that night when he quits. Cecil is able to convince Larry that it will get better once he understands how to control the situation so he agrees to give it one more try.

Beginning with his second shift Larry tries to assume control of the chaos by becoming the new sheriff in town. Larry starts out well but things quickly spiral out of control. A mischievous monkey, named Dexter, steals Larry’s keys so that he can’t lock up the wild animals in their sections of the museum. Dexter also grabs the instruction manual and rips it into confetti. Larry desperately calls Cecil to get another copy of the manual but is informed that there was only one copy. Cecil does tell him that if he brushes up on his history, it may help when dealing with some of the “inmates”.

In time he is able to gain enough control of the situation that he is comfortable with his knowledge and wants to share the experience with Neal. He wants to impress his son so that he’ll get back on his good side and not seem like such a flake. He also wants to impress Rebecca (Gugino), the museum’s attractive tour guide. He knows that she is writing a dissertation about Sacajawea and has hit a roadblock with her text. He knows that he could impress her by introducing her to the Sacajawea (Pelk) from the museum display so that the two could discuss her history and her part in the Lewis and Clark expedition.

Just when it appears that Larry is finally taking control of his life and receiving some respect from those he cares about there is an attempted theft of Ahkmenrah’s Tablet, which throws a monkey wrench into everything. Larry, Rebecca, Neal and all of the museum’s residents must band together to prevent the theft in a comically chaotic finale.

Normally, it takes Ben Stiller about 10 minutes of screen time before his abrasive personality wears out its welcome with me. This was an exception to that rule. Ben manages to keep his habit of grossly overacting under control and does a decent job of portraying an average Joe who is a loser, despite his best intentions. With all the exaggerated insanity swirling around him it was critical that Stiller was grounded to play against the unpredictability of the situation, he manages to pull that off with minimum smirking. Robin Williams has a relatively small role as Teddy Roosevelt but provides a welcome warm personality. He is actually the source of sage advice for Stiller’s character. Dick Van Dyke still looked pretty spry and his vocal skills were certainly up to the task. Mickey Rooney gets less screen time, and looked like he wouldn’t have lasted much longer, but is funny as an a gritty little man with the personality of a bulldog.

A very funny premise that is used to generate some good chuckles. Not as funny as it could have been, but it manages to entertain without offending. The special effects were well-integrated into the film and if you allow yourself to get lost in the film’s concept, you’ll believe these creatures and people are coming to life. The end has a bit of a twist to it to keep things interesting up to the finish line.

Jeremy-meter 8* (out of 10) The boy loves chaos, what can I say. The antics of Stiller and company kept Jeremy chuckling throughout. He particularly enjoyed the Easter Island Head that kept calling Larry Dum-Dum.

Tina teen-meter 7* (out of 10) Tina laughed and was able to sink into the premise and fly with it.

Karie meter 7* (out of 10) She enjoyed it and really enjoyed the bone fetching T-Rex. She’s also not a big Stiller fan but found his work quite entertaining in this film.

6* (out of 10) I was pleasantly surprised that the film was able to underplay such an outrageous set-up. My fear is that Stiller and Williams would get into a one-up battle of ad-libs and stray the course. The director was able to maintain peace and put a reasonably humorous product on the market.

[movieman1957]

Saw it in the theater and wasn't very impressed. The special effects got in the way for me. They were., to me, so obvious that they were a distraction. I loved Van Dyke and Rooney but I thought the whole thing was a little too much for me. I'm no Stiller fan so that didn't help. I got tired of the monkey peeing all over the place.

[cinemalover]

Hi Chris,

There was definitely plenty of low-brow humor. Perhaps it partially won me over because the kids were laughing so hard and it becomes infectious at some point. Ben Stiller was less obnoxious than usual, which is always a blessing.

[cinemalover]

Here is the 17th entry from the Grindhouse Experience Volume 2….


Date watched: 7/1/2008
Title: Dirty Two (The Liberators/Il Dito Nella Piaga) Made: 1969
Genre: War Studio: Cine Azimut Production
Format: DVD Extras—FS, Dubbed.
Number of times viewed: First

Director: Tonino Ricci

Stars:
George Hilton—Lt. Michael Sheppard
Klaus Kinski—Cpl. Brian Haskins/Norman Carr
Ray Saunders—Pvt. John Grayson/Calvin Mallory
Betsy Bell—Daniela
Ugo Aninolfi—Soldier
Piero Mazzinghi—Priest
Enrico Pagano—Mascetti
Roberto Pagano—Little Michele
Giorgio De Giorgi—Captain
Angelo Susani—Sergeant

Score—Riz Ortoloni

Plot: The film is set during WWII in Italy as American forces are trying to beat back the Nazis threat. Lt. Michael Sheppard (Hilton) is fresh out of West Point and deeply engrained with a “by the book” mentality when he reaches Italy on his first deployment. His first assignment is to take command of the execution squad of two American soldiers who were recently sentenced to death by a military tribunal for their un-detailed crimes. The two men are the white Cpl. Brian Haskins (Kinski) and the African American Pvt. John Grayson (Saunders).

Sheppard loads his two prisoners into the back of a transport truck along with the execution squad. They drive to the outskirts of town to carry out the sentence. Just as the squad is about to shoot Haskins and Grayson a German “potato masher” grenade is tossed into the group, exploding and taking out most of the squad. The explosion is quickly followed by a rush of German soldiers firing away at the soldiers. Only Sheppard, Grayson and Haskins survive the assault and they find themselves trapped behind the advancing enemy line. Sheppard is determined to take his two prisoners back to the American camp for their sentences to be carried out, but circumstances force him to allow the two to have arms so that the three of them have some chance to escape their predicament alive.

After another confrontation with German soldiers in which the three Americans wipe out their enemies they see the bodies of other American soldiers that the Germans had shot. Haskins and Grayson help themselves to a new set of dog tags each, much to Sheppard’s disgust. This will allow them to assume new identities (that are not scheduled to be executed) if they should happen to get out of this mess…and Sheppard doesn’t. They are also able to salvage a jeep from the battle scene and the three form an uneasy alliance to navigate their way home.

They enter a villa driving their jeep and the entire population comes out to greet them joyously, as they assume they are there to liberate them from the Nazis occupation. The soldiers are stunned by this reaction, but their silence does nothing to dissuade the town’s mayor from announcing his gratitude on behalf of his people. The three take advantage of all the hospitality while not revealing the truth. Grayson develops a relationship with an orphan boy that reveals his soft side for the first time. Sheppard enjoys the food, wine and conversation the townsfolk provide happily. The usually serious Haskins allows his guard to drop just enough to become attracted to the lovely Daniela (Bell), though we quickly see that the two have very different outlooks on the world.

Haskins (spitting out his words), “The world is…DIRTY!”
Daniela, “That’s not true. The world is full of love!”
Daniela’s curiosity about Haskins causes her to question his beliefs on God.
Haskins, always the cold one, “You know what’s written on the inside of a Kraut’s belt? God is with us!!!”
This is an emotional disclosure for Haskins that leads him to break down and admit to Daniela that his mother was a whore who entertained men nightly in their home while he was forced to listen in the next room. This undoubtedly contributed to the stellar man he is today.

As the days pass the Mayor speaks the town’s mind when he asks Sheppard exactly when are the rest of the troops arriving. Sheppard, enjoying the conditions, lies by saying, “Three or four days….but it’s hard to tell.”

The town then digs out a treasure chest of religious treasures that they had walled away to keep them out of the Nazis’ hands. When Haskins and Grayson see these valuables their eyes light up like Christmas trees. Sheppard knows that they’ve got larceny in their hearts and warns them that the only way they’ll get their hands on the treasure is over his dead body. They don’t seem too disturbed by that prospect.

The town puts on a grand parade running the entire length of main street as they celebrate what they think is their freedom. While the parade is underway Sheppard returns to the treasure chest to find Haskins fondling the valuables. While Sheppard is ordering Haskins away Daniela has silently approached, seeing Haskins look as though he intended to hi-jack the chest. See walks away with tears in her eyes. Haskins is embarrassed/furious at Sheppard but this potential conflict dies on the spot as the town finds itself being bombarded by German artillery. Apparently the wrong army has shown up to take control of the town. Will Sheppard and these two “dirty” criminals be willing to risk their necks defending the town, or will they turn tail and get out while they can?

The re-titling of the film to the “Dirty Two” presumably was intended to capitalize on the popularity of The Dirty Dozen, as convicted killers end up finding the Germans in both films. This is an interesting war film, measuring men’s inner self against the conditions into which they are thrown. Were Haskins and Grayson always bad men or did the constant threat of death in wartime conditions alter their very nature? The only glimpse at either man’s past is seen through Haskins confession of his mother’s occupation. Just when it seems like the caring of a good woman (Daniela) may be able to resurrect Haskins’ soul he finds himself tempted from the path by the Church treasury. Saunders connection with the boy speaks to a level of caring that he doesn’t present in his other actions, so which is the real man? Sheppard adapts all to readily to the lie that they are the city’s liberators, though he dies still monitor his men, attempting to keep them on the straight and narrow.

George Hilton looks and acts believable as the man thrown into a combat environment directly from his military school. He acts bewildered at times, which he should, but is smart enough to defer to the two criminal’s judgment in areas that are unfamiliar to him. He was pained when they assumed the dead’s dog tags, yet did nothing to stop it. If he had he surely knew that they would have added him to the pile of corpses at that point. He needed them more than they needed him.

Klaus Kinski is one of those actors that the camera is drawn to, regardless of what he’s doing. He has a rather unique physical appearance, capped by those sunken Dwight Frye eyes, that always gives the impression that he’s more than slightly unbalanced. This is not someone that you want coming up behind you. He was perfect for this part because you can easily see him as the merciless soldier sentenced to death, yet still believe the pathos when he pours his heart out.

An unusual tale of war that has more than its share of depressing moments, but enough positives to keep your interest. A high level of tension is maintained and you never feel as though these men are safe. Any of them could die at any time and it wouldn’t come as a shock.


5* (out of 10) A different take on war that presents several morale tales within the framework of the story.

This is film #17 out of 20 in the set. This one gets a thumbs up, leaving our tally at 10 ups and 7 downs.