The Silver Screen Oasis

Put some tin foil on your head, just in case....

I never leave home without it.

My advice is strip, run through yard, laugh at the sky, and watch for police, outraged neighbors

Oh. So it's just another day in the neighborhood?

It sounds more like the Thanksgiving Day Turkey Drop from "WKRP in Cincinnati."

Be careful of thunderstorms. Two Fridays ago hell came to the East Coast. Oh, was the most lovely grandchild in the history of the world affected by the storms. The DC area got hit harder than the Baltimore region. And it was bad enough on this side.

ChiO wrote:Need some help.

A few minutes ago, the sky got somewhat dark. Then there was a strange rumbling. Then it sounded as if the roof was being pelted.

I just stepped outside. There are these odd, translucent globules falling from the sky. They seem to be -- how best to describe it? -- wet.

Is anyone familiar with this strange phenomenon? What is it called? Is it good? The flowers, tomatoes and beans appear to be in shock.

Could you send some down here? Since June 1st, we've had a whopping 0.05 inches of rain. On the plus side, I haven't had to mow my lawn for six weeks. The negative, the grass is no longer dormant, it's dead.

Oh, was the most lovely grandchild in the history of the world affected by the storms. The DC area got hit harder than the Baltimore region. And it was bad enough on this side.

As Fate (bless the Gods of Noir) would have it, we were with all 2 years, 4 months of the Most Beautiful Granddaughter in This and All Parallel Universes in Atlanta (105 degrees, anyone? In a suit and tie?) for our nephew's wedding. We heard about the storms during the rehearsal dinner. The Son-in-Law called neighbors to find out the damage. Although they live in a veritable forest, nothing landed on the house (that's the benefit of having the Most Beautiful Granddaughter in This and All Parallel Universes living there), but several large branches fell across the driveway. Son-in-Law's response? Grabbed his phone and ordered a new, larger, more powerful chainsaw so he could play when they returned (He's a lumberjack/And he's okay!).

I haven't had to mow my lawn for six weeks. The negative, the grass is no longer dormant, it's dead.

I'm familiar with the syndrome. But what about my parents' farm about 35 SE of you? The good news: corn prices skyrocket. The bad news: No new corn for sale. The good news?: Quite an electric bill savings since they won't have any corn to dry this year. Or, as I tell my Dad, "Why do you complain about the weather? This is an issue of farm management."

IT'S SO HOT in Kansas

.....the birds have to use potholders to pull the worms out of the ground.
.....the trees are whistling for the dogs.
.....the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance
.....hot water comes from both taps.
.....you can make sun tea instantly.
.....you learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
.....the temperature drops below 90 F and you feel a little chilly.
.....you discover that in July it only takes two fingers to steer your car (one on each hand).
.....you discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
.....you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
.....you break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 5:30 A.M.
.....your biggest motorcycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the
pavement and cook to death"?
.....you realize that asphalt has a liquid stage.
.....the potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter.
.....the cows are giving evaporated milk.
.....farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

IT'S SO DRY in Kansas that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving rain checks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water!

IT'S SO DRY in Kansas that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving rain checks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water!

I'm sorry Knitty...we Greek Orthodox are offended. We're not worthy of suffering (and ridicule)?

Howazbout: ...and the Greek Orthodox are throwing olive pits.

How about, the Orthodox are using olive oil for baptism?????? and I sure didn't mean ridicule, just thought it was funny..it's 7:20pm and 98 degrees outside, so yes, it is HOT!!!! in Kansas

That was great, knitty--you had me laughing so much up here in bone-dry NY that my cracked, dry lips started to split when I smiled too much. Time to go out and cut open a cactus to get some liquid in me. [Who says you can't learn things from cowboy movies?]

I particularly like the part about the door handle as branding iron.

This looks really good to me about now:
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Oh, you had to remind me of that awful snow. 26" and that was one storm. We had others. I don't want to have another winter like that again.

How about, the Orthodox are using olive oil for baptism?????? and I sure didn't mean ridicule, just thought it was funny

Jus' joshin' ya...I thought they were funny, too. But the "using olive oil" doesn't work because we do use olive oil as an integral part of the baptism (so Satan can't keep a firm hold on the infant...Hey! Buy the premise, you buy the bit,).

When we baptized our Goddaughter, her father wanted us to use the olive oil sent to him by his mother from his village. Just as the sacrament was about to begin, we asked him where the olive oil was. He'd forgotten it and there wasn't time for him to go home. I ran to a corner grocery and got some. It was Italian olive oil. The question of whether the baptism was legitimate still arises, 13 years later, after a few glasses of ouzo.

OK, how about...the O are using Italian olive oil? Now THAT'S funny!

movieman1957 wrote:Oh, you had to remind me of that awful snow. 26" and that was one storm. We had others. I don't want to have another winter like that again.

Sorry, Chris. It doesn't look so awful from today's perspective.

moirafinnie wrote:

movieman1957 wrote:Oh, you had to remind me of that awful snow. 26" and that was one storm. We had others. I don't want to have another winter like that again.

Sorry, Chris. It doesn't look so awful from today's perspective.

Gee, I hate snow, but you're right, it looks pretty great right now. It's 7am and 80, with an expected high of 103 today...The grass hasn't needed cutting for the past month, you can't walk barefoot outside, the dried grass will kill your feet.

102 today but mid 80s on Friday.