Sailor walks into a bar . . .

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knitwit45
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Joined: May 4th, 2007, 9:33 pm
Location: Gardner, KS

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Post by knitwit45 »

Just read the warnings for Cyclone Debbie...Be Safe, Fossy!!!!
"Life is not the way it's supposed to be.. It's the way it is..
The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference." ~ Virginia Satir
""Most people pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it." ~ Soren Kierkegaard
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Fossy
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Joined: April 29th, 2010, 8:13 pm
Location: Cairns, Qld., Australia

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Post by Fossy »

Thank you for your thoughts. TC Debbie has moved south and is expected to cross the coast at Bowen, which is about 450 km south of here. Debbie is expected to cross the coast between noon and 1.00pm.We still expect strong winds here and there will certainly be rain. The Eye is about 60km wide, with the storm 1000km wide, so Cairns will be on the edge of it.

To put in perspective when cyclone Yasi hit a few years ago It crossed the coast about 200km south of here it destroyed the garden, one of the fences disappeared, and panels from a shed from 2 doors down landed at the back door.
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knitwit45
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Location: Gardner, KS

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Post by knitwit45 »

Did you have much damage? Hope all is well.
"Life is not the way it's supposed to be.. It's the way it is..
The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference." ~ Virginia Satir
""Most people pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it." ~ Soren Kierkegaard
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Fossy
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Joined: April 29th, 2010, 8:13 pm
Location: Cairns, Qld., Australia

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Post by Fossy »

TC Debbie missed Cairns. The forecast wind and rain did not eventuate.

Debbie crossed the coast near Bowen, (about 480km south of here) wiped out the crops there and moved south. Destruction was quite extensive, with flooding well into New South Wales. A couple of towns recorded 14 inches in a half hour, with one town recording 31 inches overnight.

Rockhampton, on the tropic of Capricorn and about 1000 km south of here, missed the storm , but extensive rain fell inland from there. It was not until a week later the Fitzroy river “drowned the town”. The flood peaked yesterday and is expected to start subsiding today. It is expected to, take up to three weeks before the flood subsides completely.

Meanwhile the highway north of Brisbane is cut in a few places. After leaving Australia the former TC Debbie crossed the Tasman and caused flooding in New Zealand, some 2000km away.
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knitwit45
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Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Post by knitwit45 »

So sorry to hear about the damage and flooding, but relieved to hear you are damp but not soaked.
"Life is not the way it's supposed to be.. It's the way it is..
The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference." ~ Virginia Satir
""Most people pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it." ~ Soren Kierkegaard
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Fossy
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Location: Cairns, Qld., Australia

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Post by Fossy »

Calvin--(from the front door) Mumm! Hey Mum!

Mum--Calvin! Stop yelling across the house~ If you want to talk to me walk over to the living room, where I am!

walk, walk walk

Calvin--Mum I stepped in dog shxx, where`s the hose?
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Fossy
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Location: Cairns, Qld., Australia

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Post by Fossy »

I was playing golf with a friend, but there was a problem. Our eyesight was so bad that after hitting the ball we did not know where it went. I told my friend that next week I would bring my dad. He is 85, but his eyesight is as sharp as ever.

So next week we hit off.

"Did you see where that went Dad"?

Of course I did said Dad.

Well, where did it go?

I forget!
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Masha
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Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Post by Masha »

There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.
(Only a fraction of people will find this funny.)
Avatar: Vera Vasilyevna Kholodnaya
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Masha
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Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Post by Masha »

A police officer investigating a domestic disturbance runs back to his squad car and calls the station.

Officer: A woman just shot her husband for walking on the floor she just mopped.

Dispatch: Did you arrest her?

Officer: No. She is on the other side of the room and the floor is still wet.
Avatar: Vera Vasilyevna Kholodnaya
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Masha
Posts: 1975
Joined: January 16th, 2015, 10:22 am

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Post by Masha »

A man walks up to a woman at her husband's funeral.

Man: "Do you mind if I say a word?"

Widow: "Please do."

Man: "Plethora."

Widow: "Thank you. That means a lot."
Avatar: Vera Vasilyevna Kholodnaya
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Masha
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Joined: January 16th, 2015, 10:22 am

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Post by Masha »

I realize that my sense of humor is odd and borders on the perverse. It is also that my interests are often far from mainstream. I am fully aware that these factors mean that most people will not see the humor in things I think are quite funny. I have been laughing over this for ten minutes but thought that I would not share it because most would not understand it. Then I thought that I was perhaps being a snob and underestimating the audience. I leave it to you to decide if I should have kept it to myself.

I often go down rabbit holes. Today's led from the best fertilizer for a garden bed containing daffodils, crocus and allium to potassium and nitrogen compounds and wound up at: "Things I Won't Work With: Azidoazide Azides, More Or Less" https://www.science.org/content/blog-po ... e-or-less

A few of the statements which set me off:

"It's time for another dispatch from the land of spiderweb-cracked blast shields and "Oh well, I never liked that fume hood, anyway"."

"[...] the question is not whether such things are going to be explosive hazards. (That's been settled by their empirical formulas, which generally look like typographical errors)."

"The compound exploded in solution, it exploded on any attempts to touch or move the solid, and (most interestingly) it exploded when they were trying to get an infrared spectrum of it." [...] "I don't know about you, but one exploding spectrometer is generally enough to make recognize a motion to adjourn for the day."
Avatar: Vera Vasilyevna Kholodnaya
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Masha
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Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Post by Masha »

Image
Avatar: Vera Vasilyevna Kholodnaya
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Masha
Posts: 1975
Joined: January 16th, 2015, 10:22 am

Re: Sailor walks into a bar . . .

Post by Masha »

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Avatar: Vera Vasilyevna Kholodnaya
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