Hollywood Humor

[nakanosunplaza]

There is a lot of funny lines from Hollywood actors,directors producers etc It would be nice to read some lines you like. I'am a big fan of Groucho Marx but he deserves a separate thread for himself. Let's see what we can come up with. Not from a movie please !

John Barrymore : 'I like to be introduced as America's foremost actor.It saves the necessity of further effort '

[BagelOnAPlate]

Julie Andrews: "Did you ever notice the color of Mary Poppins' petticoats? They were kind of orange and apricot and red. I think she had a secret life going on there."

[nakanosunplaza]

Screenwriter Herman Mankiewicz in the 3o's: A small producer asked him ''Tell me do you know any $75 a week writers ? H.M. Replied I know lots of them, but they' re all making $1500 a week.

[Dargo]

Said by Victor Mature after being rejected for membership to a very restrictive country club that didn't look favorably upon those in the acting profession:

"I'm not an actor, and I've got 64 films to prove it!"

(...c'mon, how can ya not love a guy who's that self-deprecating)

[nakanosunplaza]

Billy Wilder: France is a country where the money falls apart in your hand and you can't tear the toilet paper '' Very true till France abandoned the Franc for the Euro around 1999 and up to the mid 80's the toilet paper was like cardboard!

[Dargo]

Supposedly said by Red Skelton after hearing the turnout was excessively large for the generally despised head of Columbia Pictures Harry Cohn's funeral...

"It proves what Harry always said: Give the public what they want and they'll come out for it."

[nakanosunplaza]

About Gary Cooper;for a guy without acting training he managed very well.. King Vidor thought that 'He got a reputation as a great actor just by thinking hard about the next line '

[nakanosunplaza]

From Humphrey Bogart some I like : During a press conference in the early 50's A reporter asked him 'Why do you think you are entitled for $200000 per picture ? Bogart replied :Because I can get it ! '

2 About the untrained beefcake actors of the early 50's picked up for tests from sidewalks and gas stations : He said 'Shout gas around the studios today,and half the young male stars will come running.'
3 About the Industry : The Industry hurts itself,by making so many lousy movies-as if General Motors deliberately put out a bad car ..''

[Dargo]

AH yes, and now for another of my favorites here, my good people.

When asked about being discovered reading the Bible on his deathbed, the lifelong irreligious W.C. Fields is reported to have said:

"I was merely looking for loopholes."

[nakanosunplaza]

W.C.Fields again :When his lady neighbour in Beverly Hills came out to remonstrate with him for standing in the middle of his new green lawn and shooting the singing birds with a rifle, he growled '' I'll go on shooting the bastards till they learn to s*** green''
2 'I never vote for anyone.I always vote against '' Same for me !
3 When an inquiring reporter asked why he never drank water he gave the simple reasin: 'Fish f+++ in it '
4 Alleged to have spiked his co-star Baby Leroy's milk with gin ,then the infant proved unfit for further work that day He yelled 'The Kid's no trooper !'

[nakanosunplaza]

W.C.Fields again :When his lady neighbour in Beverly Hills came out to remonstrate with him for standing in the middle of his new green lawn and shooting the singing birds with a rifle, he growled '' I'll go on shooting the bastards till they learn to s*** green''
2 'I never vote for anyone.I always vote against '' Same for me !
3 When an inquiring reporter asked why he never drank water he gave the simple reason: 'Fish f+++ in it '
4 Alleged to have spiked his co-star Baby Leroy's milk with gin ,then the infant proved unfit for further work that day He yelled 'The Kid's no trooper !'

[nakanosunplaza]

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