Nancy:
I thought in every case those things were written by the long suffering wives.
Sailor walks into a bar . . .
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movieman1957
- Administrator
- Posts: 5522
- Joined: April 15th, 2007, 3:50 pm
- Location: MD
This has been a public service message for women to better understand
men.
and they don't read the bottoms of messages, either........
"Life is not the way it's supposed to be.. It's the way it is..
The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference." ~ Virginia Satir
""Most people pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it." ~ Soren Kierkegaard
The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference." ~ Virginia Satir
""Most people pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it." ~ Soren Kierkegaard
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movieman1957
- Administrator
- Posts: 5522
- Joined: April 15th, 2007, 3:50 pm
- Location: MD
reply
Nancy
In re because etc
WOW, you and hubby must have had a lulu of a spat to put you in that frame of mind.
Because I'm a man when she asks how she looks I tell her she'd look good in a potato sack, which is true, men have a few good points. Honestly.. ... mel
In re because etc
WOW, you and hubby must have had a lulu of a spat to put you in that frame of mind.
Because I'm a man when she asks how she looks I tell her she'd look good in a potato sack, which is true, men have a few good points. Honestly.. ... mel
Naw, Mel, I didn't write it, I got it in an email. Hubby hit the trail many moons ago.
I'm always a day late and a dollar short when I meet guys like you. The really great guys are the ones who are already 'taken'...or have boyfriends of their own.....
I'm always a day late and a dollar short when I meet guys like you. The really great guys are the ones who are already 'taken'...or have boyfriends of their own.....
"Life is not the way it's supposed to be.. It's the way it is..
The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference." ~ Virginia Satir
""Most people pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it." ~ Soren Kierkegaard
The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference." ~ Virginia Satir
""Most people pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it." ~ Soren Kierkegaard
OK, since a couple of you fellers seem to think I'm on a rant (honest, I'm not, it's just what hit the inbox this morning), here's a few rules for women, written by a man
Rules for women
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us griping about you leaving it down.
2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
4. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
5. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
6. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
7. Crying is blackmail.
8. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
9. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
10. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty,
would look good with your dress?
11. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
12. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
13. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
14. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
15. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
16. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
17. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
18. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
19. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
20. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
21. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
22. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
23. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
24. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
25. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
26. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
27. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
28. You have enough clothes.
29. You have too many shoes.
30. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)
31. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
32. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.
33. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Rules for women
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us griping about you leaving it down.
2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
4. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
5. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
6. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
7. Crying is blackmail.
8. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
9. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
10. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty,
would look good with your dress?
11. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
12. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
13. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
14. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
15. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
16. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
17. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
18. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
19. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
20. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
21. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
22. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
23. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
24. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
25. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
26. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
27. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
28. You have enough clothes.
29. You have too many shoes.
30. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)
31. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
32. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.
33. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.
"Life is not the way it's supposed to be.. It's the way it is..
The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference." ~ Virginia Satir
""Most people pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it." ~ Soren Kierkegaard
The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference." ~ Virginia Satir
""Most people pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it." ~ Soren Kierkegaard
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movieman1957
- Administrator
- Posts: 5522
- Joined: April 15th, 2007, 3:50 pm
- Location: MD
-
klondike
1, 7, 8 & 22 are true, the rest is dated fortune-cookie pop culture hyperbole, to be grouped with NASCAR devotion, commitment to franchise pizza & consumer-faith in Wal-Mart . . . and if any more than an occasional woman actually believes it, that is proof positive that both genders are equally confused about the opposite one!
and God has spoken AGAIN!
Klondike, remember us? we're in the JOKE thread........
Klondike, remember us? we're in the JOKE thread........
"Life is not the way it's supposed to be.. It's the way it is..
The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference." ~ Virginia Satir
""Most people pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it." ~ Soren Kierkegaard
The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference." ~ Virginia Satir
""Most people pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it." ~ Soren Kierkegaard
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klondike
laughs
Nice going, Nancy. You could write professionally. You or your E mail correspondent. I've noticed others with a talent for writing on this site. A LITERARY SITE LITERALLY. OUCH..
We never discuss navel ljnt ,,, well hardly ever.
Keep tte laughs coming ... mel
GO TO FATHER, SHE SAID WHEN I ASKED HER TO WED
'CAUSE SHE KNEW THAT I KNEW THAT HER FATHER WAS DEAD,
SHE KNEW TOO THAT I KNEW OF THE LIFE HE HAD LED
SO SHE KNEW THAT I KNEW WHAT SHE MEANT WHEN SHE SAID
GO TO FATHER. ... ANON
We never discuss navel ljnt ,,, well hardly ever.
Keep tte laughs coming ... mel
GO TO FATHER, SHE SAID WHEN I ASKED HER TO WED
'CAUSE SHE KNEW THAT I KNEW THAT HER FATHER WAS DEAD,
SHE KNEW TOO THAT I KNEW OF THE LIFE HE HAD LED
SO SHE KNEW THAT I KNEW WHAT SHE MEANT WHEN SHE SAID
GO TO FATHER. ... ANON
Klondike said:
a very dear man,who is our fearless leader and temporarily wandered off the path....and I'll thank you not to call him names!
A joke thread?!!
Whose bonehead idea was that?!
a very dear man,who is our fearless leader and temporarily wandered off the path....and I'll thank you not to call him names!
"Life is not the way it's supposed to be.. It's the way it is..
The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference." ~ Virginia Satir
""Most people pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it." ~ Soren Kierkegaard
The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference." ~ Virginia Satir
""Most people pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it." ~ Soren Kierkegaard
Hi Mel,
I forgot to "congratulate" you on the third Eagles- Giants matchup. But I think it went the way we all knew deep down it would. I did think that after beating the Giants, the Super Bowl was a foregone conclusion. Look at how wrong a person can be! Better luck to both of us next season!
As always,
Hollis
I forgot to "congratulate" you on the third Eagles- Giants matchup. But I think it went the way we all knew deep down it would. I did think that after beating the Giants, the Super Bowl was a foregone conclusion. Look at how wrong a person can be! Better luck to both of us next season!
As always,
Hollis